When it comes to disciplining children it is never an easy process especially when you are focusing on their behavior. Best ways to discipline children will show the child that they are protected and will have guidance in whatever they do. Abuse is the key factor to keep out of the equation. There has to be an equal balance that shows affection and love. Life will throw several scenarios at you and your grandchildren. These scenarios will help everyone understand right from wrong. Will also teach the grand babies about controlling their emotions and having great manners. As a grandparent with custody it is going to be your responsibility to learn to discipline with consistency. That means at times you may have to be tough, but as long as you are fair about it you will be building a great trusting bond with them for years to come.
Disciplinarian-Learn To Be A Good One
You can’t get all angry when the kids are making small mistakes. Consistency is so important if you want the kids to have good behavior. They have to learn that there are rules and expectations on daily situations that are thrown at you as a grand parent. Believe it or not most kids actually make very smart decisions. It’s important that you pay attention and listen because you want your grandchildren to maintain their confidence and not take a turn towards needing more serious discipline.
- With grandchildren, it can be even tougher than the real world scenario of parents raising their kids. You have to be careful not to ignore bad behavior just because you may be tired or distracted from the day. Heck you might even feel sorry for them. This is a very big no-no. By doing this you break down the consistency. If you do break down than the kids will know when to try to take advantage of you. However if you stay consistent at all times than your grandchild will understand that no matter what you are going to be consistent at all times.
- If you make rules and they are working than be sure to stick to those rules. A good example is that if your child won’t eat their supper than they don’t get a bed time treat than you have to be consistent with this. This is one of the best ways to discipline children. There is no way you should ever give in. Even if you have a bad day and just want to relax. As long as you stay consistant than pretty soon you won’t even have to use this discipline.
- It doesn’t matter where you are. Whether you are at home or at the mall you need to stay consistent. I know at times this isn’t so easy especially if your grandchild decides to throw a tantrum at the mall because they can’t get what they want. Of course you don’t want this to happen in public and you know all eyes will be on you. However that will only be for a few minutes. This is teaching them that they can’t have anything they want and eventually it won’t be an issue.
- Of course with Grandma and grandpa being a couple it is important that the adults are on the same page. Some days it might be tough especially because as grandparents so often you want to give in to your grand children. But both of you need to be together on types and systems of punishment. You absolutely do not want a scenario where the child is leaning to one person over the other. Not only is this bad for consistancy bit it could be bad for grandma and grandpas relationship.
Be Sure To Respect Your Grandchild
Never forget a very important part of life. That thing is always remember that your grandchild is a human being. Age has no bearing and neither does your patience. You are looking for ways to get your grandchildren to respect you. In saying that it is important for you to remember that your grandchild isn’t perfect and never will be. They have wants and needs and for the most part those are love, patience and respect.
- If your grandchild has done something to really anger you than that is the time to walk away and cool off. Don’t even speak until you have been able to count to ten and realize the anger is fading enough to talk again. its imperative that you calm down enough before you start talking and disciplining because you don’t want to do or say something you are going to regret.
- No matter how mad you get you can not be calling your grand child names of any sort. Doing that will make a child hate himself and hate life. Remember your grandchild is going through enough already. No need for us to make things worse.
- It’s important to stay away from scenarios that you are going to regret. You don’t want to get yourself into a situation that you may have to apologize. If for some reason you do get yourself into that spot than make sure your grand child knows how sorry you are. Also make sure they know it will never happen again. That will also teach them that apologizing is okay.
- You can’t expect your grandchildren to act one way while you are acting another. You are supposed to be a role model. You most definitely do not want to be telling them one thing but doing another.
Many people don’t understand there is a difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is simply feeling sorry for your grandchild when they are upset or even during bad behavior. Empathy is trying to understand the issues that your grandchild might be going through. So let me tell you a little about empathy.
- It’s important to be open and let your grandchild tell you how they are feeling. If they showed aggression in a destructive manner than you should tell them that you get it and you understand the way they are feeling. However you need to make sure they understand that their behavior got them to this point.
- As a grandparent its important that you try to understand why your grandchild is behaving as they are. There is always a reason and it is your job to figure that out.
Tell Them What You Want
You are always determining between right and wrong and how it needs to be dealt with when the behavior turns out to be not so good. Of course age will have a lot to do with consequences because at a certain age your grandchild has to know and understand that the same consequences will be issued for the same negative behaviors. communication is important.
- If you have ideas about different types of discipline than it can be very beneficial to actually relay this to your grandchild so they have a chance to avoid the behavior or they won’t be surprised when they do get disciplined for the behavior they were warned about.
- As long as your grandchild is old enough be sure to communicate with them what things they have been going through. They need to understand how you expect them to come out of their behaviors.
- Another good way of communicating if the child is old enough is to let them have some say in the rewards for good behavior.
Don’t Be An Authoritarian, Be Authoritative
You are loving and have no problem showing affection towards your grandchild. You also know what you expect and what consequences are. You are tough but you also give a little wiggle room. You try to solve things ahead of time by talking. Basically you enjoy being proactive as opposed to reactive. This is what authoritative is as well as a great parenting style. Now when you look at an authoritarian parent they are similar in that they also believe in consequences and they have expectations. However when it comes to the kids they don’t pay a lot of attention or they don’t even explain to the child why they are getting disciplined. By doing this kids start to feel like no one loves or cares about them.
- Something you really don’t want to become is a permissive grandparent. This is the kind of caregiver who basically lets the child get away with almost anything. It’s not because they don’t care but rather how much they love them shadows their decision-making. Either they feel sorry for the kid or they figure the kids will just figure it out on their own.
- Being permissive is the easy way to do parenting but it is also dangerous. It’s going to build a lot of negativity on the child. As the child gets older they will not only always think they can get what they want. They will also expect to get whatever they want. Then life is going to hit them straight in the forehead and this will end up opening a completely different can of worms.
Age And Temperament Matters
What might work for one person will probably not work for the next one. All kids are different and this needs to be thought of when deciding what punishment will be. You also need to adjust punishments as the child grows and gets older. The punishment has to fit the maturity of the child. Avoid trying to give the same punishment to two different children when they are totally different ages. It just won’t work. Hears what you can do.
- Try to work with your grandchild s natural behaviors. For example with being social and liking to talk. Now maybe you will have to discipline for speaking out of turn. However you do not want to shut them up. Then you are trying to make your child be someone they really aren’t.
- Children can be very sensitive and you shouldn’t make too big of a deal about it. However it is important for you to realize that the child will need extra attention once in a while.
At the end of the day every child is different and you as grandparents raising your grandchildren need to recognize the Best ways to discipline your children, or I guess your grand children.