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Challenges Of Raising Grandchildren-Believe In Yourself

The challenges of raising grandchildren has never been higher. As crazy as things feel, as crazy as things may seem and as much as you want to give up and walk away you need to believe in yourself.

You have your grandchildren for a reason, that reason is likely because you ended up getting them from some sort of situation. That may have been drugs, alcohol, abandonment, depression, death or any number of reasons. The fact of the matter is you likely are making it possible for your grand child to live a relatively normal life and even more important a very safe life.

As much as you just want to stay under the radar because you don’t want a pat on the shoulder it’s okay to accept that pat. You are a very important person in this world doing a very important thing even though we all know there are so many challenges of raising grandchildren.

In this article I am going to try to point out a few of the challenges so that other people reading this may realize a little about how we live and some things we are living through.

We Are Always To Blame

We already have challenges of raising grandchildren but then we get a lot of shots taken at us. I am 51 years old and 7 years ago I absolutely did not anticipate becoming a parent again nor did I want to become a parent again.

The fact of the matter is 7 years ago I did end up becoming a parent again and of course it was all the fault of myself and my wife.

As grandparents raising grand kids we here so much about how it is our fault and how we screwed up every ones lives. I know I can talk for other grandparents as I also run a closed Facebook group that has a lot of great people and I hear the stories from them all the time.

I know I was told that we went on an authority kick and that is why we went ahead and took our grand son. yes that’s it because at age 51 I really want to be a parent and I purposely went out to make sure my grandson does not grow up with his parents. (of course that’s me being sarcastic.)

Some days it feels like we are walking on pins and needles even though we know we are doing the right thing. I know many of you will get what I am talking about.

Losing Friends And Losing Your Social Life

I remember when everything started happening with our grandson and him finally ending up in our custody we knew everything would be okay because all our friends and family were there telling us that no matter what they would be there for support and for everything we need.

Oh I’m sure there intentions were all good but at the end of the day once all was said and done it’s just myself, my wife and our grandson.

Yes some people were around at the beginning but as time went on it seemed more and more people started slowly drifting away.

Now I’m not saying people should have been raising our grandson but it seemed people just started to disappear. Heck they wouldn’t even come to our place for coffee anymore. It just seemed that people were scared of us or something.

As for our social life. Well that went away almost 6 years ago and really hasn’t come back. Of course some of that is our fault but at the end of the day the things you do socially is entirely different and since we are grand parents people 20 and 25 years younger than us really didn’t want to hang out with us.

Not to mention that we really didn’t want to leave him to go anywhere. He had already been through so much in his short life that all we wanted to do was protect him. We also had and in fact still do have trust issues meaning we have a hard time leaving him with a babysitter. However that is on us so some issues are our own fault but they are always in our best intentions.

Tough On Finances

Of course there comes the discussion of money. These were the years that we were supposed to be working for our retirement. Well our retirement is still creeping up on us but now much of the money is going towards raising our grandson.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that raising kids cost money. So in order to keep things relatively the same in the ole bank account we had to get a bit creative.

I wasn’t up to getting a second job and neither was the wife because we decided that if we were going to raise our grandson we wanted to spend time with and around him. So we got creative and I started an affiliate marketing business online that I can do from home. I don’t make millions but we make enough to off set the extra expenses of raising our grand son.

At the end of the day yes I end up spending more time on the computer but I can put it down any time to spend money with my grandson and my wife.

At The End Of The Day

Challenges of raising grandchildren are just that, They are challenges but not deal breakers. Please don’t look at this as a complaint because believe me I would never complain. I would do this all over again in a heart beat. I know we actually made sure that our grandson would be safe for many many years to come.

We wake up every day and we make sure our little guy has food in his tummy, clothes on his back, a roof over his head and make sure he goes to school. That’s all we can do. Of course we would have chosen things to be different in life and it would be great to just be grandparents but for now this is what it is going to be and we love it.

My name is Dale. My wife and I are raising our 7 year old grandson and love every second of it. I started this website to write articles for others to understand everything about grandparents raising grand kids. I don’t get involved in the technical and legal side of things as that just isn’t my forte.

I also have a very successful Facebook group that is closed because it allows grandparents raising grand kids to talk about anything they want and only people in the group would be able to see it. Below you will find the link to my Facebook group. However you do need to be a grandparent raising a grand kid.

My Facebook Group

Feel free to leave a comment below. You can also give article recommendations or ask any questions and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Grampa Dale

Dale Mazurek

20 Comments

  1. I love your site and have referred it to my friend, who is indeed raising her three granddaughters.  Hers was a necessity because of ill health of her daughter, so she really had to take them in.  She is doing a wonderful job, but I’m totally sure she is going through many of the challenges that you are facing.  I hope this site will give her some hope and help and maybe she will join your facebook group.  Thanks.

    • People end up raising their grandkids for several reasons.  I would love to hear from her and would love to welcome her to the group.  It really is a great group

      Dale

  2. Wow, I had no idea grandparents raising grandkids had it so hard, perhaps even harder than parents since there will always be some trust issues from the fact that the grandchild had to go through so much such as being given custody to another family.

    I could only imagine the struggle of grandparents who end up with grandchildren from those unfortunate situations.
    But just as the article says, they are just challenges to overcome.
    I’m glad some grandparents are able to pull through for their families loved ones even if it may not be easy.

    • Its never been easy but its very rewarding and always will be.  Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment

  3. Hi Dale,

    Very interesting article.  I see a lot of grandparents raising their grandchildren.  We had one gal across the street, oh about 10 years ago, raising her great-grandchildren.  Till one day my husband came in and shared a discussion they had, and he believed she had the beginnings of Alzheimer’s, and sadly sometime after that, she passed away.

    My hat is off to you and your wife, because as of right now, I don’t know if I could take care of a grandchild.  Health reasons and all.  I’ll keep you all in my prayers.  And keep on writing, I enjoy reading about y’all.

    One question, does the lil’ guy have any contact with his parents.  I know it’s none of my business, my heart just breaks for all involved in your situation.

    God Bless,Laura

    • Hi Laura.  Thank you for the kind words.  We dont mind sharing the fact that he has a small amount of contact with his dad who is our son.  As for his mom there is zero contact.  We have tried to involve her but she is always too busy.

      I hope we can stay healthy to be there for him through the rest of his years at least until he is on his own

      Dale

  4. Good reading although I don’t have grand children yet. You have touch great topics sharing your real life experience. I’m sure your grand son is being raised with love and this make all the difference. As a soccer lover, if allow me give you a suggestion, try join some recreational program for soccer near you. It’s good to gathering with other people who has something in common: players ate field. Also a great social interaction for your grand son.  Thanks for sharing your experience!  

    • Thank you for the suggestion.  Soccer has actually been one of the sports we have talked about putting him into so we can see if he would enjoy it and if it would help his ADHD

      Dale

  5. Grandparents are awesome parents and most times I only but imagine how my life would have been without my grandmother. She stood by me and my brother even when we were little. She went through a lot and took care of us. I lost her few weeks ago. I know she must have faced some of these challenges. God bless her wherever she is. 😢

    • Sorry for your loss.  Grandparents are always so special and extra special when they are also parents to their grandkids.

  6. See why I love Grandparents; they are always concern about the well being of their grandchildren. I know of many situations where grandparents took up the responsibilities of their grandchildren not minding the challenges they’d face because they want the best for them just as you want the best for your grandchildren. For my grandmother, my father was sending her money so she never had to be stressed up with finance issue.

    • While everyone has a different story its amazing how similar many of the stories are.

  7. Thanks so much for sharing your journey. I acknowldege you and your wife for stepping up and doing the right thing. It’s so important for a child to have a safe and secure setting to grow and develop around people who truly love them.In my twenty plus years of working in the mental health field I have met and worked with grandparents who have assumed a similiar role out of necessity. It is never an easy decision but it is a good one if the grandparents are willing and able.I look forward that you and your grandchild experience the most fulfilling and meaningful relationship possible over the years. Again I honor and acknowledge your Love & Support. Most Sincerely, Joseph

    • Thank you so much Joseph.  The great thing is we have a very special bond with our grand child and we know we wouldnt do things any different.  Thank you for the kind words they mean a lot in knowing we made the right decision.

      Dale

  8. Raising your grandchildren is worth it. I’m a grandparent and while I do not raise my grandchildren -; my life is what it is because my grandparents raised me and two of my siblings. They sacrificed a lot to give us a home and stability and I maintain the same today. I think of my grandparents all the time as I continue try to live up to the example they set for me. And when I meet grandparents like you I say thank you. Thank you – you can not know what a deep, meaningful and lasting effect everything you are doing is having and will have on the your grandchild. Thank you for every experience you should have that you are missing out on. Thank you for everything you are doing to provide your grandson with a safe and happy life. Thank you for all the love that you are investing in him. You are his world and you mean the world to him.

    • Thank you so much for the kind words.  Our life has absolutely changed and honestly 6 years later now I have no clue what we would do without him around.

      Dale

  9. Thank you for this post Dale, both of my parents had full time jobs so my grandmother helped my mother raise us. I became closer to her than I was with my own mother. I’m sure at the start she had some issues with me, but with time we both came to understand each other. She has passed away now and I still miss her dearly. 

    • Your story is very similar to so many.  Its great to hold onto the memories because those never go away.  Thank you for taking the time to comment.

      Dale

  10. Hi Dale, this is such a frank and heartfelt discussion about the issues that arise in raising your grandson. I understand all you are saying because I am 65 and as I read along, i wonder how I would handle a similar situation. It sounds like you are doing a great job so far, but i have some suggestions. Your grandson has needs and so do you and your wife. I know your first priority is to protect him, but there has to be a balance. This is a special time of your life and you need to plan ways to enjoy it ( even in small ways). Your grandson might have had a hard time but he also needs to develop some coping skills and also know that his grandparents love him but they need to live. Explain that to him and make some changes little by little. 51 is still young and if you try to keep this up for the next 20 or so years you might end up resenting him…..I AM SURE YOU DON’T WANT THAT. Best wishes !!!

    • Those are such encouraging words.  I know we have to make some changes it just seems so hard to let us make them.  I know he wouldn’t mind.  Its just us being silly because you are right.  Thank you for leaving such a great comment.

      Dale

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