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Final Moments Of Life-First Moments Of Life-Everything In Between

One single breath, one blink of an eye, one look over my shoulder and we are dealing with final moments of life.  Many of the people Im involved with in some Facebook groups including my Facebook group know that I kind of dissapeared for a few months but no one really knew why.

 

This article is to let anyone who is willing to read this know that life can be changed in a second and what happens in that second and how to deal with it.

 

This coulld happen to anyone and likely has.  Everyone will deal with things differently and thats okay.  Im just writing for you to hear and for me to finally be able to open up to the people who faithfully read my website and people who hang out in mt Facebook group.which is a closed group about grandparents raising grandkids.

 

Im going to do this in a very easy way to read.  Im going to reveal to all of you step by step what went on in my life an how it affected me.

 

Wife Having Breast Surgery

While this should have been a good thing because it was surgery to reconstruct the breast she lost to Cancer.  This was supposed to be the end of the journey.

 

Well, she did have the surgery.  It was 8.5 hours long and she now has 2 breasts again.  For myself I love her with one or 2 breasts but as a woman she lost so much so it was important for her to get this done so I was there to support her.

 

Well everything seemed to be going well but now several months later she still isnt healing properly.  Oh the breast healed the way it was supposed to but where they took it from is until this day still giving my wife problems.

 

It feels like on a daily basis she is getting infections and getting sick.  Doesnt matter what she does it just doesnt seem to want to heal properly.

 

So, while we were still dealing with that the next major event hit us.

 

Grandma Gets Lung Cancer

So as my wife is healing from her surgery we get the phone call to come to her parents place because they want to have a chat with us.

 

There is no doubt in my mind when you get that phone call it is almost always to tell someone about bad news.  So on our way over there of course we were expecting the worst.

 

So, go figure once we got there we got the news that my wifes mom had lung cancer.  Now at this point we didnt even know how bad.  All we knew was that forsure it was lung cancer.

 

A week went by and we found out it was just a small growth but of course needed to come out and that her prognosis was very good.  Well at the end of the day that is all fine and dandy but when you hear the words lung cancer its hard to not be scared.

 

Well about a week later my mother in law had her surgery.  It ended up she had half a lung removed and we would have to wait and see if everything went as hoped.

 

So while this was going on the next tragic event happened.

 

Some Die Way Too Young

So, we were just dealing with my mother in laws surgery when my wife got a call from her best friend.  When I say best friend I absolutely mean best friend.

 

Many people use the term best friend very loosely but in the case of my wife and her best friens it is the real thing.

 

The two have been best friends since the third grade.  Always had each others back, did everything together and were rarely apart.

 

As they got older they both got married of course each was a major part of each others mariiage.  Then came the biths of kids, birthdays, graduations, births of grandkids.  They were always there for each other.  It was like in a little way their kids were just as important as their own kids.

 

So Im not sure you can even imagine the scream my wife let out when she got the phone call that her best friends son had just been killed in a car accident.  It was like loosing one of her own.

 

30 years old, hard working, a beautiful wife, 3 gorgeous kids, a great job.  He was young but had a great head on his shoulders and no doubt was going to go very far in life.

 

So, of course that brought us to a very sad time.  My wife had to watch her best friend lay her child to rest.  This is something a parent should never have to do.  My wife was devastated.  She was so upset at losing someone that was as close to being her child without being if you can understand that.  But also at the same time she was grieving for her best friend.

 

Well as hard as it is and I know its a cliche but my wife and I knew that life had to go on.  I knew it would move forward but I also knew it wasnt going to be easdy.  This isnt just something that goes away over night.

 

So, as if that wasnt enough things in this story and in life were just about to get worse.  In my opinion a lot worse.

 

The Sudden Loss Of A Very Special Man

 

We werent even home a week from the funeral, my mother in law was still healing when my wife got the call from her mom that she had just found her dad on the floor in the bathroom.  She had the ambulance on the way but things looked bleak.  Of course my wife called me at work to let me know and she headed right over there.

 

The good news in all this that at this moment her father was still alive.  He had no blood pressure and the paramedics had to drill a hole in his leg to get an intervenous in but he was still alive.

 

They finally got him to our small town hospital where they got him stabilized, got some blood into him because apparently he had almost bled out from an ulcer.  Once stabilized they transfered my father in law to one of the best hospitals in Canada which we are lucky enough to only be an hour away from.

 

Once there things actually started to look good.  I went a couple days later to pick my wife up because her dad was stable, he was in good spirits, eating and talking about going home.  We all figured with some rest and some medical treatment he was out of the woods.  OMG, this was so far from the truth that the next few days are days we wish on no one ever.

 

The Darkest And Hardest Days

 

My wife and I were at home downstairs doing a few things when my sister yelled from the top of the stairs that our cell phones were ringing off the hook.  We both instantly knew that there would be nothing good about these calls.

 

My wife returned the call to her mom and all she said was that we needed to get to Edmonton because her dad had gone into cardiac arrest and that at the moment the staff at the hospital were doing chest compressions.  This was terrible news and the beginning of things going from bad to worse.

 

We quickly packed a bag because we were quite certain that if her dad survived we would be away from home for a while.  Shortly we were about to find out exactly how true that really was.

 

About an hour later we quickly found out how bad things really were.  My wifes dad was alive, had 2 heart attacks and was losing all his blood.  Something terrible was happening inside his body and they had to find out.  The Drs told us to prepare for the worst as they were shuttling him down to do life saving surgery.

 

Well about 2 hours later there was actually good news.  My father in law was given a 1 percent chance of surviving on the table and he did.  He was no where out of the woods but there was a little hope.  My wife and I along with many other family members spent as much time as we could with him.  While others went home and showered and slept her and I never left his bed side.  Of course that didnt mean the others didnt care.  People deal with things in their own ways and I can guarantee you there was plenty of love and caring going around.

 

I would like to say there is a happy ending to all of this but unfortunatley I cant.  On the fourth evening at about 1 am my wife and I were in the room next to her dad (family room) trying to get a bit of a nap when we were startled by a knock.  With that 2 Drs and a nurse came in to sit down and tell us that my father in law wasnt doing well.  It appeared that with all the blood loss he suffered his organs were now beginning to shut down.  The Dr suggested we make the phone calls we need to get the rest of the family back to the hospital.  At this point this fine manwas on 100% life support.

 

Hardest Decision Ever

Finally the family was all gathered at the hospital.  We were all spending time with my father in law when the specialists came in and asked us to have a meeting with them in an hour.  I think we all kind of new where this was leading even if we didnt want it to.

 

The entire family was there.  A sibling, his wife, his girls and their spouses and some nieces nephews and grandchildren.  There was a lot of love and support for my father in law.

 

The specialists didnt waste any time.  They made it quite clear that my father in law was being kept alive 100% by machines.  They told us that all of his organs were shutting down and that there was no chance of coming out of this. They also told us that it wouldnt be long before even life support wouldnt be able to keep him alive.

 

Oh what a realm of emotions people were instantly going through.  I think we all new the right answer but no one wanted to believe it was actually coming down to this.  Finally my mother in law said it was time to let him go.

 

The Final Moments

The saddest part is that my father in law still new it was us all around him.  He would acknowledge by squeezing our hands or nodding.  We were given an hour before they unplugged all the machines to let my father in law slowly slip away.

 

Im not going to lie, even though we all new this is what was the best it was still the hardest thing ever.  This was my father in law, a man that had been in my life for over 32 years, a man that gave me permission to marry his daughter and a man that took over as a father to me when my father passed away.

 

The room was full of tears but also full of love.  This man had a lot of people who really cared for him.  We stayed until his heart beat its last beat.  Then we all said good bye.  This was a moment I will soon not forget.  I am happy that I could be there for this great mans final moments but I also have mixed feelings.  Is it easier to be there when a loved one passes or is it easier to not be there?

 

Of course the next week was all about mixed emotions.  Lots of sad tears and even some happy ones once we started talking about memories.  Then we got to the funeral.  Once again this was a difficult as crazy day but a day that was needed.

 

Finally after the funeral it was time to move on.  Never forget but time to take baby steps and move on in life.  Finally some positive things began to happen and below I will talk about them a bit because it was a bout time after everything we had gone through.

 

Finally, Some Good

Well, once the dust settled it was time to get back to life.  In everything that was going on we were still in the process of getting ready for possibly the biggest move of our lives.  We were moving from a town of 5000 people to a city of a million people.  Talk about culture shock.

 

However we were excited.  We were looking forward to change.  Oh yes I guess I should tell that the reason we were moving was that I was following my career.  You see I work for the Federal Government in Canada.  The office I was working in got shut down and we all got relocated.

 

Its pretty hard to walk away from a Federal job so the decision for us was a no brainer.

 

The months leading up to the move were very hectic.  It seemed every day was busy with either packing, purging, fixing or driving to the city to check on the progress of our new home.  However for a change it was a good hectic.

 

Also inbetween getting ready to move we decided to trade in our truck and get a vehicle more suitable for living in the city.  So I went from country boy driving a 4×4 to city slicker driving a SUV.  But, you know what.  Im okay with that.

 

So the end of July the moving van rolled up, loaded all our stuff and we were on the way to our new home.  It was an adventure we were really looking forward to.  The move went well and just like that we were living in the big city.  Of course there were things we needed to get used to but Im here to tell you we love being in the big city.  It was a move we were uber nervous about but it turns out things are good.

 

October 3rd turned out to be one of the biggest and most exciting days in a long time.  Our Grandson Ryker was born.  It was a blessed day.  He was born healthy and with a lot of people around him that love him.  Lots of bad happened in the last months but this was bar none the best thing that happened.  It made life easier to move on.

 

 

 

Conclusion

At the end of the day I took some time away from everything except my family.  I even had some time off work.  Stayed away from my online business but the nice thing about that is that it can still work for a while even on ignore.

 

It does feel like things are finally turning around.  That was a lot of stuff for any family to handle.  I am so greatful that my wife and I are so close.  We make such a great team which in turn makes it possible for us to face almost anything together.

 

We mill move on, life will get better.  Yes there will be bumps in the road but hopefully not as high as we have had to deal with.  It is our time to put on a smile and enjoy the little things around us.

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story.  If you want to comment or ask anything please feel free to do so below in the comments section.

 

Once again thank you and God Bless form

 

Grampa Dale

Feel free to check out my websites

All about Grandparents Raising Grandkids

Helping Diabetics One Day At A Time

See How I Help People Earn Online

Dale Mazurek

34 Comments

  1. I cant say that this article is awesome but it is very emotional and sad. I know how hard it is when you lose someone that is close to you but that is the life we live in. I am really sorry for that happened to you, I hope that you will recover. I think that all people should read this story, it is very emotional.

    • Thank you for the comment.  This is the reason I had no ambition to do anything.  However things are going better now

  2. Hi

    I must say that this article made me sad and at this very moment I am finding it hard to even write.

    The blessing is your wonderful, gorgeous Grandson.

    I am inspired by your article, bereavement is so personal that only who is going through it knows it.

    I always say to myself and others to take one day at a time and if that does not work then take one hour at a time.

    Many thanks again for this courageous article.  

    Wishing you all the best and keep up the good work you are an inspiration

    Jennifer

    • You are so right.  We had to start one minute at a time, then hours and now its days.  Of course stuff like this never goes away but day by day ot does get easier.  Thank you for the kind words and thank you for taking the time to read my article.

  3. what a time you had in these past days of your life.  Life can be so hard at times and it can be frustrating.  I sincerely commiserate with you on your loses,  and pray the dead rest in peace.  Good health, when we have it we seems not to know the value.  Thank God for successful operations and for the gift of new life.  I pray your wife get much better and agile FIR the days ahead.  And also I pray for vigor for your in-law. 

    A big welcome to the new born….  What a gift of life and what a happy pill to those who are blessed with the baby.  As you child grow,  may the heavens shower peace upon the new born. Congratulations to the grannies,  what a time to celebrate and rejoice.  It has always been our prayers that our kids grow to know us. 

    …. Congratulations. 

    • Its been a long road and I know many people have long roads.  I am so grateful that people are willing to read my story.  I am also grateful that it feels like we are moving forward.

  4. Dale, you are a strong man. You gathered yourself in such difficult days for your family. Your family is going through a difficult path of life adversity. 

    I have no words. There is only noise in the head. The noise and heaviness from the ideas of the volatile time stream. In this time stream, the hope of recovery rises and sinks and reappears. And still see the eyes with hope.And see hopeless again. Hold on and stay strong my friend Dale.

    • Im not going to lie some days it felt like it was overwhelming.  However somehow we pulled through and right now things feel like they are moving forward.  Thank you for stopping by and reading my story.

      Dale

  5. That is a lot of tragedy and chaos to deal with nearly all at the same time. It is good that you and your wife have a strong relationship and dealt with everything together and leaning on each other. If anything good can come of tragedy, this one thing that you and your wife grew stronger together is something to be thankful for and that you made it through together without tearing each other apart. Stay Strong and God Bless You and Your Family.

    • You are right.  We have become stronger and closer.  We were a great team before but now even more so.  Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.

  6. Such a heart felt post. As usually happens in life, we dont get hit by just one challenge at a time but they seem to come in storms. My heart goes out to you and your family. Ive been in your shoes. Take every day as it comes and love those around you with all you got because you never know how long we will have them.

  7. You and your family really have been through tough times and I’m hoping things will get better for you.

    It’s not the exact same thing but I lost my dad when I was 12 to suicide, I’m 39 now, and it still hurts till this day! It’s not nice losing someone you love and certainly not nice to see them go through the pain beforehand.

    Wishing you and your family a lifetime of happiness and hope you will have a stronger bond through all the bad tunes you have gone through in your life.

    • Thank you for those kind words and I am sorry for your loss as well.  I hope 2019 is way better for all of us.

      Dale

  8. This was obviously a very difficult and sad time for you all.  It is at times like this when we do need to take a deep breath and remind ourselves that being around the ones we love is so important.  They can give us strength in our common grief.

    As you rejoice in the birth of your new grandchild, I guess we can be thankful that there is always new hope on the horizon.

    I hope the new year will bring you some peace and much improved health for all.

    • We are all so looking forward to being able to be in 2019.  Then of course we are cautiously optimistic that it will be a better year and thats only because if its a worse year I dont think we could handle it.

      However, yes for now we are going to rejoice at the babies and children in our lives.

      Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.

      Grampa Dale

  9. Life is full of happy and sad moments, as I was reading, I felt the pain and prayers you were having, especially when your wife was diagnosed with cancer, then your mother in law, then your father in law’s illness and untimely death, but why God does one need to have tons of problems at once. NO ONE to answer that question for me though. But I like the fact that you remained there, present for your family, that’s very important

    • I know in this life everything happens for a reason and the last 6 months were no different.  However it is time to move on.  Thank you for your kind words.

  10. I have to say I fear death. I guess everyone do. We will never know when we will never wake up ever again. So enjoy your life. Take care of yourself. Dont make mistakes that make life worse. Life is not that hard is you do not make it hard. Appreciate with what you have.

    • I never used to fear death but as I get older I absolutely fear death more and more.

      I want to live a long time yet.  I feel like I have so much to experience yet.

      Thank you for taking the time to comment.

  11. Wow…tragedy hitting this often in a lifetime is truly heart breaking. But we all get hit by tragedy at one time or another. Some are heavier than others, more tragic than others but nevertheless they are still heart breakers. Then we realize that tragedies and death touch everyone. 

    I truly believe that one’s faith and belief in a Creator and the afterlife makes a huge difference.  When one has faith in the afterlife and believes with all his or her heart, hope takes over grief and hopelessness. I now quietly believe that I have an afterlife. How? Jesus Christ of Nazareth rose from the dead. He is no fiction. His disciples almost all of them faced horrible deaths before they would deny His resurrection. Why? They saw Him alive after He died from crucifixion. His disciples faced death for the truth they witnessed. Not too many folks die for what they believe is a lie.

    Joe Joson

    • Thank you for taking the time to leave your response.  Everyone believes in different ways and that is totally okay.

  12. Grampa Dale,

    I share your sadness, I can’t even think of what words to write and as much tragedy as had befallen me, yours is much worse and I’m glad and very amazed that you’re still going strong. Life is never fair but is what we make do of it that determines our path in it. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us, sometimes writing alone can help lift some of that burden. Wish you all the best in life 🙂

    • You are right.  Writing does help.  Hoever I have one thing that helps a little more and that is putting my headphones on and getting lost in my music.  Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.

  13. Calls like that usually are bad news. My mom told me she wanted to skype with my husband and myself at the same time. When we did, she told us she had thyroid cancer. Then within a few months, she also got cervical cancer. It’s all been removed now, but healing does take time and a toll on the body. Your family is amazing for making through all these struggles. And I am sorry for your losses. Deaths of children are very hard. And we had a parent pass this past year. We also had to make the call to take him off life support. He lasted until morning and then passed. It sounds like you’ve had a tough year. Hopefully the new baby will bring much joys for the new year.

    • Anything to do with death and sickness isnt easy.  It just sucked at how hard it came at us.  However yes we do have the new grand baby and two other grand children and so much else to be thankful for.  Thank you for your kind words and also sorry for your losses.

  14. Hello Dale,

    What story have you told about the beginnings and endings of our lives. 

    Dear family members that we accompany in their last moments, it is difficult to say goodbye to them. 

    Our life continues, new births occur in our families. Your story is very similar to mine, love is our blessing.

    Thanks for sharing your life. Regards!

    Claudio

    • Thank you for the kind words.  Im sure many people have similar episodes in their lives.  You just never think its going to happen to you or the people around you that you love.

  15. Wow Dale,

    Hmm, I took my time to read your story step by step and I can feel what you have gone through with your family and even your close friends. Indeed life is full of troubles indeed. I can just imagine the feelings of having to deal with all these challenges of life.

    From your wife’s own sickness to her mother having to deal with lung cancer to loss of your wife’s friend’s son and then finally having to deal with the death of grandpa. Wow! This is indeed a sad moment in life. And I just wonder. Sometimes when the problems are coming they just follow one after another, you just don’t know where they are coming from.

    But in all, I’m glad you now have some time for your family. I hope things continue to get better for you friend.

    My sincere sympathy for your family and all the losses you have had to deal with.

    All the best.

    Stephen.  

    • Thank you for taking the time to read and thank you for your kind words.

      It felt like it was never going to end but here we are moving on.  Yes its sad but we now have some positives to focus on.

  16. This article had me nervous to continue reading, things just kept getting worse and worse. After all that, I am glad you got some bright spots. I know from seeing my own parent’s faces when they saw my sons for the first time, that a lot of love comes along with the birth of a grandchild. 

    Thank you for sharing and my family’s thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Take care,

    Dan    

    • At first we all thought the bad things would never stop.  However deep down inside I knew they had to stop.  The best part is they all started getting better.  Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment on my page.

  17. It’s really hard to say goodbye to someone we really love. While I’m reading your post it brings back all the my family memers who died already. My grandfather died september of 2004, my brother March 2005, my father september 2005.It’s 6 months distance.Almost same as your story, my son was born December 06,2016 but my mother die December 26,2016. Until the tears still keep falling everytime i remember them. But life had to move on and I believed they will be happy if they see us happy  and living life not mourning. Thank you for this sharing your story. Hope you and your family all goes well.

    Anastacio

    • When I wrote this I knew there would be others that would share their stories and in a kind of selfish way I knew that would help me.  I absolutely feel for yo as well but you are right in the fact that we do have to move on.  Thank you for taking the time to reply to my story.

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