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Grandparents Being Taken Advantage Of- Enough Is Enough

I see grandparents being taken advantage of every day and honestly I think it is crap and enough is enough. I am a grandparent raising a grandchild with my wife. I have a blog Grandparents Raising Grandkids . I also have a Facebook page about Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Worldwide https://www.facebook.com/group… .

 

I see the stories and I don’t just mean a couple of stories but rather hundreds of stories as to how so many grandparents have been taken advantage of. I know many of the grandparents don’t look at it this way but when you really take a deep look inside there is no way you could think any different.

 

As grandparents honestly we need to start looking at things differently because life is difficult enough without others throwing things in our faces.

 

Some Things I Am Talking About

 

In this part of my article I will give you some examples of what I am talking about and at the end in the comments section feel free to leave me a comment to let me know if you agree or disagree.

 

I have seen on more than one occasion where one or both of the birth parents come and go as they please. They sleep in, stay out at night, drop by for a meal, borrow money and then when things just couldn’t get worse they blame us for them not having their grand kids.

 

Not too often do I hear about how the bios thank the grands for stepping up to the plate, giving up their lives and rescuing the grand kids from ending up in the system. Grandparents are being taken advantage of and I’m sorry there is no other way to put it.

 

What Happened To Yester Year?

 

There was a time when this just didn’t happen. Kids grew up with their parents like they were supposed to. If us as young adults with children tried pulling the crap the young parents are pulling today our parents would kick our butts and knock some sense into us.

 

Was it our up bringing? I have to say no on this because there is no way we brought up any of our kids to even remotely believe that this could be ok.

 

I absolutely respected my parents and in turn they loved me, respected me and taught me well as I grew up. After looking back I refuse to take any of the blame because it just isn’t that way. But still today we see grandparents raising their grand kids at a very alarming rate.

 

So obviously times have changed and honestly I doubt there is a lot we can do about that. So at the end of the day we need to fight against the things that we have a chance at beating.

 

Can We Beat The Drug Epidemic?

 

All of us see grandparents being taken advantage of on a daily basis and it really is time to fight back.

 

Now the first thing I want to say is I do know that not all grandparents are raising their grand kids because of drugs but Let’s face the facts and come to understand that drugs are a very high majority.

 

Now, if we look at the big picture we see a mountain that no one will ever be able to climb. However if we take baby steps and work on what is right in front of us then I thing we stand a fighting chance. We as grandparents need to be there for support and encouragement so that we can work on dealing with the issues that directly affect us.

 

The key to it all is deal on our own issues while providing support for others. Pay it forward and things may come together. I know I make it sound easy but I know my readers aren’t stupid. They know any plan to make things better is not going to be easy. They know that hard work is the only chance and still that gives no guarantees.

 

It’s All To Familiar!!

 

In my Facebook group I hear all kinds of stories that are absolutely directed right at how our grand babies parents take advantage of us. I read stories on a daily basis and there is no sign of those stories going away anytime soon.

 

We hear about how parents accuse grands of being on power trips. They blame parents for taking their kids away. They are never grateful that we as grands kept the babies out of the system.

 

They stop over for an hour or half a day, play with the kids and then go on Facebook claiming to be such good parents. They absolutely refuse to claim any responsibility for their actions before and present day. They never think they are or have been doing anything wrong.

 

They blame everyone but themselves. However at the end of the day most don’t even entertain the thought of getting help.

 

Our Ex Daughter In Law In A Nut Shell

 

I am going to give you a brief example of how people refuse to believe that things can actually be there fault. I know drugs completely take control of you but to let it allow you to use your kids is something I just can’t get over no matter how often I see it.

 

I’m not going to go through the entire story. That can be found on our story here. Anyways just going to go through a part that just floored me. Still can’t believe it even today.

 

Of course when children get taken away reunification is the number one avenue at the beginning anyway. In our case Social Services worked real hard to bring mom and baby boy back together. Below I will list what they offered.

 

  • Offered to pay her way whether though schooling or just living
  • Offered to pay for a vehicle for six months
  • Offered to pay for all medical expenses
  • Offered to pay her rent and utilities
  • Offered to pay for all groceries
  • Offered to pay for any rehab that would be required.

 

In return here is what they expected

 

  • She needed to go into rehab
  • Needed to take drug tests once a month
  • Needed to be ok with scheduled home visits
  • Needed to take some parenting classes
  • Needed to maintain a visitation schedule with foster family until full time reunification.

 

Not only did she not abide but absolutely refused to accept any of the terms. Reasoning being because none of this was her fault and was just a big misunderstanding. (Yes because babies found outside of a drug house at 1am in a running van while it was 40 below zero while mom was inside was just a misunderstanding.)

 

So at the end of the day she was offered a second lease on life with everything handed to her and because of her dependency to drugs she just couldn’t be bothered. Unfortunately I hear this story and hundreds of similar ones all too often.

 

Where Does That Leave Us?

 

Well it leaves us no further ahead. All we are doing is giving up our lives and our entire livelihood to keep our grands safe but still at the end of the day, and day after day we deal with the wrath of our kids. (bios parents). Below are some of the things that I am sure most of us deal with at one point or another in our journey.

 

  • Getting yelled and screamed at
  • getting lied to
  • getting things stolen from us
  • promises that are never kept
  • us getting blamed all the time

 

I know there are many more. However how many crappy things we deal with is just a number. The fact of the matter is we need to go with what ever is best for the grand kids. The bios have had enough chances. We have to stop letting them get away with the things they keep thinking they can get away with.

 

We are grandparents being taken advantage of and I say enough is enough. One day at a time we have to work on making changes. I know sometimes we feel like we are caught between a rock and a hard place but once again I am going to say is its time we stop getting run over and we continue being the best grands we can be.

 

What Makes Me Qualified To Yap?

 

My name is Dale, many know me as Grampa Dale. My wife and I have been raising our grandson for almost 5 years now and he is only 6. You can read the entire story Here. Also I have a safe, closed Facebook group with over 500 members and growing daily. This group is full of wonderful grands who just need a place to hang out. If you are a Grandparent raising a grand child you can join the group here.
https://www.facebook.com/group…

 

I also have this blog that you are reading. It ranges from everything to do with grandparents raising grand kids to every day stuff about grand parents.

 

So at the end of the day yes I feel I am qualified and the best thing is I am not going anywhere so if you stick around you will be putting up with Grampa Dale for a long time.

 

As always if you have any questions or comments please feel free to leave them at the bottom of this post.
 

Dale Mazurek

4 Comments

  1. Dale – right on, right on…..man you couldn’t be more right on……everything you said is the sad truth. When we as parents stop enabling our kids to guilt us, blame us, treat us nasty – then the changes will happen – whether it be the changes in us – our money, our time, our sleep (no nightmares or can’t shut the brain off) our sanity or changes for our kids – rehab, responsibility, accountability,

    • I wish I didnt have to write posts like this but the sad reality is I do. Its time we moved forward and let whats going to happen happen. I know it sounds harsh but we are trying to keep our little grandbabies safe. The bios need to learn a bit about reality. Thank you for the kind words.

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