0

Talking To Kids About Sex-Even As a Grandparent

All Children

In the eyes of your child your grandchild you are and always will be a role model that they can talk to about anything.  Talking to kids about sex absolutely falls into the category of anything.

You have built trust in your relationship with them so in turn they are going to come to you with all their concerns even about health and their bodies.  For these reasons and so many more it’s important that you are open to talking to your grandkids about sexual health.

You want them to make smart decisions and they want to make the right decision but they don’t always know how.  So together all of you can come up with the right decisions.  Obviously you can’t make decisions for your grandkids but at the end of the day with education, caring and openness we hope they will make the smartest decision out there.

Below I will attempt to give you some basic tips on how to have an open, happy relationship when it comes to talking with your grandchildren about sexual health.

Helpful Tips For Young Children

  • The first thing I have to say here is very important.  It will build the base of your relationship to not only be able to talk about sex but to also be able to talk about absolutely anything.  You need to be an adult that the kids can talk to you.  An adult like this is referred to as an askable adult and what this means is your grandchildren will be comfortable when talking to you.  They will feel like you respect them and they will understand that they are actually heard because they see you are actually listening.

 

  • An adult who listens is an adult that teaches their kid that it’s ok to talk.  They teach with how they react or with how their behaviour changes in any given situation.

 

  • It is never too early to start talking.  When you do start talking make sure you talk often.  Don’t ever worry about saying too much.  I mean you don’t have to cover everything in 5 minutes resulting in your grandkids being over whelmed.

 

  • Another thing to remember is that even if you haven’t started talking to the kids yet there is an old saying that goes “better late than never.”  So it’s okay to get started now.

 

  • When you do talk to the kids remind yourself the age of the kids you might be chatting with.  So talking to a 3 year old you may be satisfied with saying things like “babies grow in mommy’s tummies.”  While that may be okay for a younger child it may not be enough for say a six year old.  Because by that age they are going to want to know more like how babies get out of tummies and where they come from.  Just remember to keep your answers simple.

 

  • When you are talking to the kids about the body make sure you don’t pull any punches by trying to come up with cute names for parts of the body.  All this is going to do is introduce more confusion to an already confused brain.

 

  • By teaching them right it will also help in the case that heaven forbid there should ever be any abuse.   They need to be able to communicate with you if anything ever happens.

 

  • There are moments in front of your face and in your ears all day long that can be used as teaching aids.  Around us every day is music, television, the internet and the news.  As the subject comes up this would be a great time to chat and be as open as possible.At the least beliefs and values can absolutely be discussed at this time.

 

  • Something important to find out is how much do they already know.  Ask them about certain topics and see what they can tell you.Especially when it comes to older kids this could be a good chance to fix bad information they may have received.  Bad information is usually gathered from school and places like that.

 

  • Now is also a good time to have a little chat about the facts of some situations.  With that being said relationships and how feelings affect others is also a good topic of chat.

 

  • In some cases you may find it easier to relay resources to your grandchildren.  Make sure you have these resources readily available at your home.  Of course you need to make sure the info you give them is appropriate to their age.  They need to get the answers and they, at these ages need all the help they can get.

 

  • You need to learn with your grandkids.  Oh of course we all know that as a grandparent you likely have all the answers.  The thing is the kids will like it netter if you try and learn with them.  Let them take the lead and they will actually learn by teaching you.

 

  • Don’t ever brush the kids off when they are trying to discuss these certain values with you.  You need to encourage them to talk about the things they are feeling.

 

  • There are going to be a lot of social issues and it is our job to make sure that socially they know what’s right and what’s wrong.  They need to understand, and you are the one to help them understand that values come in many different forms and many people believe in many different values.

 

  • It is important you don’t delay answering questions.  First off there is a good chance the question will get forgot about and secondly if you don’t answer they may think you are trying to avoid the question.  This goes back to being open.  You don’t want it to feel like you are hiding something.  If you don’t know the answer just be honest and tell them you aren’t sure.  Once you tell them you aren’t sure then tell them that you guys will figure it out together.

 

  • Doing this is going to gain a lot of trust and confidence with your grandkids.  They will know you will always have time for them and you can ask them anything.

 

  • Kids are going to ask questions.  You need to really understand what they are asking so you can make sure you give them the right answers.

 

Teens

Talking to kids about sex gets even more difficult as they get to their teen years.  All so often the teens run to their friends for answers and information.

Being that grandparent that they can talk to is important for them to know.  Teens get very confused so they really need to know they really have some where to go.

Teens are a very tender age and they may be scared or embarrassed to ask the questions to the right people.

Young children are tough enough to talk to about sexual health.  When it comes to your teenagers it can tend to be really tricky when it comes to those important chats.  Puberty starts to set in, bodies are changing and kids are trying to show the world about independence.  Of course they are teens so it may seem like they don’t listen but in most cases believe me when I say those grandkids are listening.

Your teen does care no matter what it seems to you.

Below I will try and provide you with a few tips on talking to kids about sex.

  • Be prepared to have some serious and heated talks.  You need to be honest about your values and you need to be ready to meet some challenges head on.  If there is one thing that is for sure is that teens want to be independent and absolutely need to maintain an identity.Either way you need to say the things that need to be said and those are the things that you believe in.Good and bad experiences will always help your teen to learn in all ways available.

 

  • Ask them a lot of what if questions.  Once you get started you will realize there are a lot of what if questions.  Chances are you won’t like a lot of the questions but you need to learn not to judge.  Instead of that you need to make sure that your teens understand there are consequences for absolutely everything.

 

  • Don’t undermine the teens.  They want you to respect them for their age and the things they know.  Treat them as mature young adults and you will get much further with what you are trying to accomplish.

 

  • It’s so very important that your grandkids know you love them no matter what and you always will.  You don’t have the control to be there every second of every day to see the things your teen does.  It’s ok for them to know that you don’t like everything they do.  However they need to know that you will always be there. But they also need to know that they are responsible for their own actions.

 

  • Don’t ever talk down to your teen grandchildren.  At times this could be a challenge but it is a must.  Remember they are old enough to have a discussion at your level.  Remember they have feelings and those should be respected as well.  It doesn’t matter whether you agree or not, you still have to show respect.

 

  • At the end of the day the last thing you want to do is push your kids away.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that could be very devastating.

 

  • Put yourself in their shoes and see how difficult things can be.  At times you and your trust may be the only constant in their lives.  Talking to your kids isn’t something you want to avoid.  That will almost always come back to haunt you.

 

My name is Grandpa Dale and I am one of those grandparents who are raising a grandchild.  Soon I will have a newsletter for each and every one to subscribe to.  As for now please feel free to ask any questions or leave comments and I will be sure to get back to you.

Click Here For Some Great Info

Dale Mazurek

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *